My World Came Crashing Down
by McDumbles
Summary: Regina is faced with an unbearable loneliness when she leaves Henry at the hospital after the curse breaks.The entire town wants her to pay for her crimes and she has no one to turn to for help or comfort. How will she deal with her belief that no one will love her ever again? A different version of the finale. Warning: Self Harm


"Henry, no matter what you think, no matter what anyone tells you, I do love you." Regina smiled at Henry through teary eyes. Inwardly she was praying for a response, for her son to tell her he loved her too, but his silence crushed any last hope she had. He would never love her again. No one would.

She almost couldn't bear to leave him. In those horrible moments when she had known Henry was never going to wake up, she had been devastated. Her wonderful, beautiful baby was dead, and it was her fault. She backed up slowly so she could look at him for as long as possible, memorizing every detail because she didn't know if she would ever get to see him again. Finally tearing her gaze away from his, she ran from the room heartbroken. People watched her as she fled through the hospital, but she barely noticed them.

Bursting through the front doors of the building she slowed down and breathed deeply, taking in the fresh air in an attempt to ease her heartache. Closing her eyes and placing a hand on her chest, she suddenly realised that the town felt different, the atmosphere had changed. It was no longer pleasant and peaceful as it has always been; the air was filled with the distant sounds of car alarms blazing, and people crying and calling out for the loved ones they had just remembered they had. The entire town was being reunited with friends and family, and everyone would have their happy ending once again. Everyone that is, except for Regina. She had no one to run to, no one to comfort her in her pain, and no one to promise she would be safe.

Blinking back tears she turned and looked back up at the hospital. She yearned for Henry, wanting nothing more than to hold her little boy close. She almost went back into the building, but stopped herself because she knew he would reject her. Instead she crossed her arms hugging herself and began to make her way home; there was nowhere else she wanted to go. She knew it was probably not the safest place for her to be right now, because if enraged citizens were seeking her out the obvious first place to look would be her house. She didn't know what their reaction was going to be when they remembered what had happened twenty-eight years ago. They would be angry at her no doubt, but just how angry? Would they simply not want anything more to do with her and ignore her, or would they retaliate and try to punish her? Knowing from their old land that the latter was more likely she wondered if hiding would be a better idea after all. She could go to the secret crypt-like vaults under her fathers' tombstone, no one really knew about it and she might be safe there so long as Jefferson kept his mouth shut.

No, she didn't want to hide, and besides she wouldn't be able to stay down there for very long anyways. She wouldn't survive; it would probably be quicker to be murdered than to starve to death, either way she would die without dignity.

As she made her way home Regina could feel the heavy toll this long night has had on her. She was so tired, but she forced herself to move because the quicker she got inside the better. If she stayed out of sight maybe everyone would just leave her alone.

As she walked down the street she passed a few groups of people and could hear them whispering about her. Some of them glared at her and a few of them even stood up threateningly as she passed, the hate evident in their eyes. She was ashamed that her heartbeat increased at these gestures, but she continued to walk, not responding when one man yelled cruelly at her. She turned a corner onto an empty street and thankfully no one followed her. There were more tears threatening to fall but she refused to succumb. She wiped them away and began to run, wanting to get away from the tension of the town. Thankfully her house was not too far, and when she reached the quaint white structure at last, she resumed walking and breathed a sigh of relief.

_Almost there_, Regina encouraged herself. Her hand touched the cold metal of the doorknob and she turned the key in the lock. She crossed the threshold and shut the door behind her, sliding the lock back into place with a reassuring click. Regina leaned back against the door and finally gave in to her exhaustion and distress. Slumping towards the ground she wrapped her arms around her knees and rested her forehead against them. After a few minutes her breathing evened out and she enjoyed the silence and feeling of comfort that the familiar surroundings provided. At the moment it almost felt like a sanctuary, knowing that chaos was bound to be flooding the towns' streets by now. This house was the only thing Regina had left in the whole world, and she would gladly give it up just to be loved again. To have someone actually care about what happened to her.

Her body was beginning to ache from sitting on the hard marble floor, so she gingerly stood up and made her way upstairs. She paused in the doorframe of Henry's room, hardly daring to enter. A fresh wave of despair ran through her as she thought of him. Why did he hate her so much? Had she really been such a horrible mother all these years? He had honestly thought she didn't love him. She could never forgive herself for letting him think that. Why was she never able to convince him otherwise? He was all she cared about; she had only ever wanted him to be happy so why hadn't she been able to do more to stop his depression? Maybe it was because she had never been able to prevent her own unhappiness, so she had never figured out how she could help him through his. The more he pushed her away the harder it was to reach out to him. Whatever she told him, he disregarded as lies.

Regina entered the room and sat defeated on the neatly made bed. Her heart ached overwhelmingly for the love of her son. But knowing she would forever be denied this she picked up his pillow and clutched it to her chest, not even trying to hold back her sorrow. She cried soundly as she hugged his pillow tight, wishing with all her might that it was Henry she was holding instead.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Not being able to handle the sight of Henry's empty room anymore Regina replaced the pillow, now creased and damp with tears, to its previous position. She left the room and without looking back, shut the door behind her because everything in there reminded her so much of Henry it hurt. She headed towards her own bedroom and walked over to the window to inspect the front of the house. The street remained blissfully quiet, and there was not another person in sight. For the time being Regina was safe, but she knew they would come for her eventually, baying for her blood. As Regina was able to relax a little she realized just how tired she had become. It had been an excruciatingly long night, and she hadn't exactly been sleeping well in the past few weeks. Moving away from the window she collapsed onto her bed, the pain welling up inside her at full force. Regina kicked off her shoes and curled against one of the pillows. As she lay there, shivering and wiping the tears from her face, she looked over to her bedside table and saw the photo of herself and Henry that she kept displayed there. She reached out and grabbed it, drawing it up to her face so she could take a closer look. The image caused her to give a ghost of a smile. It was of the pair of them on Henry's fifth birthday. Henry was wearing a party hat and was clinging to Regina's side as she held him close. Henry looked so happy; he was beaming as widely as she had ever seen. It had been a long time since he had smiled like that. A few years after this photo was taken he had become unhappy and withdrawn. He wouldn't confide in her as to what was bothering him so she had put him in therapy, but that hadn't seemed to solve the problem either. In fact it might have made Henry's feelings for her even worse.

Her biggest regret was not being able to show Henry how much he meant to her and how much she truly cared for him. She had never even imagined that he might think she didn't love him. Poor Henry, there was nothing worse than to feel unloved and alone. Regina knew that feeling all too well, and it broke her heart to know that she had let her son feel that way. Staring at the picture of her adorable five year old son only made her feel worse, it made her yearn for him even more and caused a fresh flow of tears to fall from her eyes. It took all of her remaining strength to keep from screaming out in agony caused by the emptiness inside her heart. The loneliness was killing her and she didn't know how much more of it she would be able to stand.

Clutching the picture frame against her chest, she closed her eyes and bowed her head as if she were hugging the object. As she grieved the loss of her son, she wondered if she would ever receive the affection of another human being again. There were only a few things she possessed that reminded her she hadn't always been alone. The most important one was a ring, the only token she still had from her beloved Daniel. Regina's eyes fluttered open as she reached into her pocket and enclosed her fingers around the tiny box tucked away inside. Placing the picture frame down carefully onto the bed, she opened the box and plucked the ring from its holder. As she rubbed the piece of jewellery between her thumb and forefinger, she remembered how happy she had felt in Daniel's arms. He had always made her feel cherished, important, and most of all, loved. She wondered how her life would have turned out had he been spared. Would they have had a good life together? Would they have had children of their own? Would they have always remained just as in love with each other as they had in their youth? She believed they would have, she and Daniel had been the perfect match. There had never been anyone to compare to him. When he had been so horribly ripped away from her she had been destined to be alone forever.

Regina pressed the cool metal to her lips and then slipped it onto her finger. As she studied her hand she noticed that it was trembling so she quickly clasped her other hand around her fingers and nestled deeper into her pillow, hiding her face from the world. As she tried to keep her breathing steady, her exhaustion finally got the better of her and she fell into a deep, but not so peaceful sleep.

xXxXxXxXxXx

_As her surroundings came into focus, Regina noticed that she was in the garden outside of her office, the one containing her beautiful apple tree. She smiled as she approached it, reaching out her hand to cup one of the deep red fruits in order to breathe in its delicious smell. "Mmmm," she sighed in appreciation. As she was about to pick the apple she heard a voice from behind her, softly saying her name. "It can't be..." She thought to herself incredulously. She turned around in disbelief, certain she had imagined his voice. He was dead, he couldn't possibly be here in Storybrooke. "Daniel?!" She asked incredulously, running up to him and clutching his arms. "It's you!"_

"_Hello Regina," He said, his face barely showing any emotion. _

"_This can't be real, how can you be here? You look... incredible!" Regina said happily, the confusion still evident on her face. _

"_I'm really here." He assured her, giving her half a smile that quickly faded away. _

_Regina, in her surprise didn't notice his lack of enthusiasm. "Well, I don't care how you're here I'm just so happy you are..." She threw her arms around him and hugged him warmly. "I've missed you so much." _

_After a few seconds she realised Daniel had not returned her embrace, in fact he seemed to have stiffened at her touch. She drew away slightly to look up into his eyes. "Is anything the matter?" She asked him in concern. She reached up to touch her palm to his cheek but he flinched away._

"_Don't touch me." He said angrily as he pulled her other hand away from his arm. "I've seen what you have become. It's disgusting, the things you have done. You have condemned hundreds of innocent people to suffer, some of them don't even remember their own families! How could you do that Regina? You know what it's like to lose the people you love, you shouldn't force that pain onto other people. I have seen people die because of you. You have become a monster, and I hope I never have to see you again." He turned to leave but Regina grabbed his arm, taken aback by his words. _

"_Daniel, you don't really mean that. I needed to__, if you hadn't been taken away from me we would have had a perfect life together, we would have been happy. I wouldn't have been forced into a loveless marriage, and I wouldn't have been trapped under my mother's control any more. My life after you was nothing, I didn't have any say towards anything that concerned me. Everything was decided for me, and I wanted nothing to do with any of it. When I had the chance to escape I took it, I wanted to be in control of myself again. I wanted a second chance at a happy ending. I just wasn't able to find it. I thought coming here to this new world would change things and I thought I would finally find happiness, but... that didn't happen. The only way I could ever have been happy was with you, and now you're here! We can be together again, isn't that a good thing?" _

"_No, you still can't take back what you have done to the people of this town. I know how you work these days, you would never shatter the curse even if you were happy. Wasn't that the whole point of the curse to begin with? I will never forgive you. They say there is always a price to pay for magic, well it looks like this is it. I think it's time for me to go now." With that he wrenched his arm from her grasp and started to make his way out of the garden. _

_Regina ran in front of him and placed her hands on his chest to stop him, the desperation clear in her eyes. "No, Daniel please don't go! Please just give me another chance, I promise I can make it up to these people if you just stay with me. I can't lose you again, I love you." _

"_But I don't love you, goodbye Regina." With that he pushed past her and disappeared. As she stared heartbrokenly at the exit he had just taken, Regina could feel the hot tears rolling down her face as she collapsed to her knees. She thought he of all people would never abandon her, whatever happened. He was the one person she'd thought would always love her, but now he hated her just like everyone else did. She wrapped her arms around herself and cried; now she truly had no one left. _

xXxXxXxXxXx

As Regina woke, the tears that she had shed in her dream became real and she felt them roll down her face. She knew the dream had been just that, it wasn't real; Daniel hadn't said those hurtful things to her. As she recounted the dream she began to shiver again, it had felt so genuine. If Daniel could really see how she had changed over the years, would he despise her now? As the hateful words continued to haunt her, the despair inside her reached a maximum and a decision formed in her head. It would solve everything; it would stop the pain, the loneliness, and it would keep the townspeople from punishing her. They didn't know that she didn't need to be punished, her life had been punishment enough.

She sniffed and sat up, pulling the covers over her legs. She then reached over and opened a drawer on her nightstand and rummaged around inside. Her hand enclosed over a smooth, thin object. As she withdrew her hand a sheathed dagger became visible. Taking a deep breath she slid the sharp blade out of its holder. This weapon had remained in the drawer ever since she first arrived in Storybrooke. When she was just getting used to living without magic, she kept it there for security reasons in case the curse was faulty and someone came seeking justice. The plan had been to keep the dagger there to defend herself against an attack, not to use it on herself. But the new idea calmed her, knowing that all of the pain would soon be over. She would never have to feel anything ever again.

The tears began to fall more persistently than before, but she had already made up her mind. She raised the blade to her wrist and ran it across her skin, pressing in deeply. The searing pain was more than she thought it would be and she cried out, keeping her lips pressed firmly together. Breathing shakily she passed the blade to the other hand. Curling her fingers around the handle caused her injured wrist to throb and gush, but the faster she did this the sooner it would be over. She sobbed as she did the same to her other wrist, and the blood ran freely from both wounds. There was so much of it.

Through her pain she could hear distant voices coming from outside, but they were yelling things she couldn't make out. The people had finally come for her but they were too late. She only hoped she would pass out before any of them got a chance to get close to her, the last thing she wanted was for them to stop her from succeeding in order to give her their own retribution. She picked up the knife again and slid further under the blankets, she was so cold and the weight gave her the illusion of safety. She repositioned the photograph of Henry so she could look at it as she rendered the final blow, she wanted his face to be the last thing she ever saw. As she gazed at her baby boy through tear-filled eyes, she gasped and drove the dagger into her abdomen. Her thoughts and vision were starting to get hazy, and she wished that there could have been a better way out. Her only comfort was knowing that not a single person would ever be able to hurt her again.

Suddenly a crash came from below as something was thrown through one of the main floor windows.

"Henry..." She breathed, closing her eyes briefly before looking at the picture of the two of them again. "I love you." With that she blacked out, and she exhaled her very last breath before anyone could reach her.

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_A/N: Thank you for reading! Reviews are always welcome_


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